5 Dependencies That Foment Misfortune

Addictions are a concomitant human reality because, in a way, we will always depend on something or someone. This is not negative in itself, but it involves a task to be accomplished. We must modulate and settle these addictions, so that they do not interfere with the path of our desire, nor with our personal development.

There are reasonable dependencies which, properly modeled, are healthy for our development. For example, the interdependence with his partner or his family. This mutual need and response that unites us intimately, without restricting freedom or limiting growth, strengthens our emotional world.

Other addictions, on the other hand, keep us stagnant. They contribute little or not at all to our well-being and instead have the power to disconnect us from ourselves. Ultimately, they put us at the service of something or someone, for no fair consideration. Here are a few.

1. The opinion of others

Depending on the opinions of others means guiding one’s behavior, tastes and desires, based on the degree of approval of others. This means that the central goal is not to reaffirm who we are, but to gain acceptance from others.

In this logic, the criticism of others acquires an unusual value. It is experienced as an emotional wound which sometimes affects deeply. The other is the definitive point of reference, not only for specific behaviors, but even for the whole life project. It is one of the most corrosive addictions, in that it decentralizes, alienates and makes people subservient.

2. The fear of abandonment

The fear of abandonment corresponds to a deep dependence. It generally affects those who have experienced situations of lack or helplessness during their childhood. It is a void that nothing and no one ever fills and which is often worn like an open wound.

The fear of abandonment is usually unconscious. The person simply develops behaviors of excessive attachment with those who become the objects of his love. This is especially the case with the partner or with close friends. She fears losing these people and, as a result, possessiveness and anxiety seize the bond that unites them to them.

3. Fashion, one of the most harmful addictions

Fashion is a subject that many find superfluous and irrelevant. Despite this, few people are able to distinguish their tastes from those imposed by the dictates of fashion. Fashion trends refer not only to clothes, but also to tastes, preferences and even ideologies and philosophies.

Many, for example, wonder if the vegan lifestyle is really the result of thought and conviction, or if many of its followers have simply joined a fad. This desire to be part of the majority sometimes leads to addiction. Not being “ in ” becomes a big concern for some. Perhaps this leads them to disfigure their own sense of identity.

4. Physical appearance

Physical appearance is also another of those myths that shape many consciousnesses. There are those who give it excessive importance and even end up creating dependencies around this aspect. They come to believe that their worth as human beings is closely related to their physical appearance.

While it is true that physical appearance weighs heavily in today’s world, it is also evident that it is an often fleeting play of light and shadow. Beauty opens doors and facilitates the conquest of goodwill. However, it is quite insufficient to go beyond this first chapter. To depend on the aspect is to depend on an illusion.

5. Money

Money is another of those mirages that sometimes takes us very far. It creates dependency when it is directly associated with the value that everyone has as a person. Having and not having money is a sequence in the life of most mortals. Few are those who maintain a stable economic situation without any interruption.

Depending on money sometimes means believing that happiness is in consumption. Or assume that the more wealth you have, the more valuable you are in human terms. For the same reason, not having money means losing everything, even your being.

All of these addictions are very harmful because they chain rather than support. They take away much more than they give. They involve a certain degree of alienation or, in other words, of disconnection from what is most authentic in ourselves. It would be desirable to think of us as if we were comets: attached to a point but free in flight.

Our thoughts

Like it or not, money is an important part of our life. The topic of finance has grown in complexity with globalization.