What You Deny Submits, What You Accept Transforms You

The most significant changes start to happen when  we accept things as they are  ; whether it is the acceptance of what happens to us in life, or the acceptance of ourselves.

In our changing lives,  there are many situations where we have no choice but to accept things as they come. What happens when we refuse to accept them?

When we are not resisting change, what is already out of our control, and there is nothing we can do to avoid it because it is something that has happened or is happening,  we let us fall into suffering.

The clearest circumstances where acceptance plays a fundamental role are death, love, and disenchantment.

How to refuse love, and how to refuse the fact of falling in love or no longer being in love? By stubbornly denying these realities that we can do nothing about when they arise.

These are not good or bad situations,  they are realities that are unique to human beings, which are part of our lives, and which bring us joy or sadness.

The intensity of the emotions tells us how meaningful this experience is to us.

If you do not have the strength to impose your own conditions in life, you must accept those she offers you. 
S. Eliot

The need to understand

Faced with what is beyond our control, we tend to try to provide an answer, and to find an explanation that relieves us. We need to understand everything that is going on in our lives. 

We forget that whatever we try to understand is going to be the  result of our interpretations and our experience. We want to make sense of these explanations to finally convince us and make us believe that  it is our reality.

To surprise yourself, to be astonished, is to begin to understand. 

José Ortega y Gasset

We get lost in reason, in words,  when all of the truth, and all of the reality is in us, in what we are feeling, and in the emotion that we are experiencing.

The fact of going towards this feeling that our own body is responsible for showing, comes down to accepting the reality of what is happening to us. 

The tendency to go towards reasoning to explain certain questions such as those related to love are  obstacles and barriers that we put to ourselves in order not to accept reality. 

Understanding is a clean slate on which there is nothing written.

Aristotle

What happens when we don’t accept what is happening to us? 

When we bury those feelings that we don’t want to listen to  because we don’t want to be sad or  afraid that they will hurt us too much (a pain that we believe we cannot overcome or face), we deny the evidence and our existence.

We bury our  essence, and we suppress emotions that should be released, experienced, and experienced.

By not accepting our vulnerabilities, we forget an essential part of our humanity, believing that we are above them.

The body is responsible for giving us the relevant signals in the form of an alert  so that at a given moment, we decide to release everything that we are hiding (anger, sadness, nervousness etc.).

If we don’t, illness and disconnection from ourselves and our happiness takes precedence over the rest.

Learn to accept

Personal development and learning occur when we are  willing to accept our feelings and emotions as they appear,  without going through the filter of reason that modifies, represses, and extinguishes them.

You have to know that reason will need an explanation for what is going on, but by keeping these types of thoughts  we divert attention to what we are experiencing.

Real learning  happens when we are willing to accept, to feel every emotion that comes up in every experience we have.

This is how  we transform ourselves by following the flow of life. Anything we deny and anything we are unwilling to accept  will subject us to detachment from ourselves, and all that that entails.

When we come to terms with unavoidable facts in our lives,  we can feel sadness very intensely. 

The fact of feeling it is precisely what frees us from it, to continue to move forward and give rise to new emotions and experiences. 

The moment we begin to accept what is happening to us, we begin to accept ourselves.

We are thus prepared to  forgive and forgive ourselves, in  order to continue to have new experiences, letting the energy flow and feeling alive.

Reason has not taught me everything. Everything I know has been given to me by the heart.

Leon tolstoi