7 Steps To Forget An Impossible Love
An impossible love is one that never manages to turn into a stable relationship or ends before it begins or matures. It may seem paradoxical, but it is these loves that give rise to the deepest mourning and which are sometimes the most difficult to forget. And it is also paradoxical because if, in the end, they did not develop, they should not – in theory – cause so much suffering.
The more pragmatic do not complicate their lives with an impossible love. When they see that there are no good conditions to build or maintain a romantic bond, they accept it and put an end to it in time. Others, however, have a harder time letting go of the expectations, hopes, and dreams that have formed around a relationship. The feeling is stronger than the proofs of its impossibility.
Either way, an impossible love is never forgotten. It leaves great traces, precisely because it was neither lived nor consumed when we must give it up; idealization has not broken. But, even if he doesn’t completely forget himself, it’s still possible to process this feeling and successfully put it aside to keep moving forward. And here are 7 tips to achieve it.
1. Define what turns him into impossible love
There is a big difference between a difficult and tumultuous love and an impossible love. The latter has no chance of existing. The most typical case, and which involves the most emotional difficulties, concerns love which is not reciprocal. One person loves the other, but the reverse does not happen. It might also be more accurate to say that one person loves and needs the other, but that other does not feel the same. True love always works together.
Of course, you can try to win over someone who isn’t interested at first. But it is also important to understand that there comes a time when it is necessary to accept that this business has no future. The same applies for other impossibilities which normally have the same element in common: one loves and the other does not. If there is no mutual feeling, there is no viability.
2. Examine your desires on a love level
It is very common that the difficulty in giving up an impossible love comes from a few fantasies that have taken hold in the culture. For example, that of “half” or “love of a lifetime”. It is from this imagination that the idea arises that there is only one “predestined” person to live with us.
Even though it is a beautiful fantasy, it does not correspond to reality. Human beings have an infinite capacity to love. When we live in a relationship, we face its end and we draw an experience and a wisdom that allow, in general, to better live the following relationship.
We can always start over and each new experience can be better than the last. In fact, the years prepare us to love with greater generosity and greater tolerance if we do not remain anchored in impossible dreams.
3. Recognize the negatives
Being in love, not love, easily makes us idealize people and situations. Sometimes we give them virtues and attributes that they don’t actually have or that they only have to a certain extent. To dilute these mental constructs, it is very important to start evaluating the negative elements.
What flaws has this person you think you love so much? What unsatisfactory aspects existed or exist in the situations that you shared or share with him / her? Could you imagine how these flaws and mistakes would manifest themselves 10 years from now? Here are the questions you need to ask yourself and try to answer honestly. In the end, your point of view is likely to be more realistic.
4. Accept that it’s time to forget
This is the most difficult step. It has been verified that when a person wishes to have a romantic relationship with someone and this is not possible, reactions similar to those of a drug addict who experiences abstinence syndrome. . Emotional, and even physical, discomfort is sometimes difficult to tolerate.
And as with all addictions, the hardest part is that the addiction exists, that it creates deep sadness, and that you feel powerless in the face of it. It sounds easy to admit, but it isn’t. We are sometimes able to invent and rationalize any pretext for not accepting that we are indeed victims of an addiction. When you manage to accept it, you take the most important step. This clarifies the steps to follow after this step.
5. Eliminate links and delete memories
After accepting the idea that it is time to leave this love impossible, you have to start cutting any remaining ties. It means not calling the person, not trying to see them, distance yourself from their friends, and doing whatever allows us to sever the bonds that remain with that person. In particular, it is necessary to cut off all relations in social networks.
Along the same lines, it is necessary to erase all memories. Eliminate photos, keep gifts away. If you’re not ready to get rid of them, gather them and store them in a hard-to-reach place. And if your decision is firmer, put everything in the trash. It is a way of attenuating and diluting the presence of this impossible love.
6. Change your routine, try new things
It’s time to start a new step. This impossible love may have occupied the majority of your time, your days, and even your years. Letting him go will not be easy. However, if you actually make the decision to make this change, everything will become much easier. Surely there are things you’ve always wanted to do and for some reason put off. It is therefore time to focus on these new challenges.
The moment of the final farewell is also an opportunity to venture to new things or new places. Traveling is always a great alternative. How about you take up this challenge? It also helps to explore your skills, sign up for a class that will inspire you to meet new people, or take up an interesting new activity. Life goes on and there are thousands of things to do.
7. Give time to time
There are many loves, and some leave traces so deep that they will never go away. An impossible love is always ingrained for a long time, and not bringing it up is not enough to make it go away. This is something that you do not achieve overnight. It takes courage and character. It will be difficult, there will be relapses but time will help you to grow.
If you are sure that you can no longer carry on with this impossible love, if you cut the ties and are determined to start a new life, you will gradually succeed in making this person occupy a different place, as well. in your heart than in your mind. You will gradually feel greater peace in your soul. You will find that after loving and letting go of this person, you have learned and matured a lot.
Giving up impossible things is a daily act, and love is no exception. Unintentionally, many people are distraught dreamers. We don’t so easily accept the fact that there are limits and we can’t do anything but respect them. But there is one wonderful thing: By discovering the boundaries of our own possibilities and accepting them, we take the leap and learn to be better people.
Everything you experience is worth it. Even those frustrations that hurt us so badly turn, eventually, into seeds for our greatest successes. They are also the foundation on which we build our adult personality. It is a way of being, through which we understand that the limit of our romantic fantasies is found in what others want, in complete freedom.
Images by Maria Wasick and Henn Kim
Our thoughts Everyone has already fallen in love with a person with whom any love affair was absolutely impossible. Why ?
