Routine Or Disenchantment?
Times change and bring with them new hopes and new crises, marked with a new imprint: disenchantment. A disenchantment which is part of the daily life of the social landscape and which is often confused with one of the factors which is the cause: routine.
Many people are affected by this worrying phenomenon. What’s going on ? What is this “collective madness”? Has love really become more fragile? Maybe the psychological sources have been lost to deal with the difficulties that have always existed in the couple or maybe it is “only” the routine, which ends up damaging the relationship from the inside, by taking control of the couple’s life.
“Normal” love crises
The life of a couple often goes through a number of particularly critical points. It is a crisis of growth, relationship and maturation of the couple. We could say it is measles which, when defeated, strengthens the bond.
These “normal” seizures, when resolved, indicate a stronger bond, a deeper understanding of the other person. They aim above all to be able to adequately manage the character and psychology of the couple, by seeking reciprocal reconciliation.
Some of these seizures end badly because they produce or signal distances the couple don’t know or don’t want to bridge. In this way, they can end in a dramatic way. The good news is that these ends can be avoided by identifying the needs that are most important to both of you at the time.
Routine: the deadly disease of a relationship
When the couple enters into the routine, into the monotony, life becomes tasteless, uniform, boring and meaningless. If you are in pain, it is because you do not have the incentives that are so necessary as a couple. These incentives ensure that the shared experience is lived and projected into the future with a healthy dose of enthusiasm and passion.
We fail to infuse this life together with imagination, grace, small goals, reciprocal gratification and shared plans. It’s the way to get away from the routine. What is remarkable here is that there are no major issues, what is lacking are the resources to avoid the routine, the tedious and gray downfall of days that all end up being alike.
When you get into a routine, life becomes long, endless, exhausting, tiring, unbearable, uninteresting, indifferent. Its prognosis shows moderate pessimism if the appropriate means to avoid the sinking and rupture are not put in place with some urgency.
How do you know if it is routine or lack of love?
When the couple gets into the routine, each other’s lives are significantly affected. It’s not that you are no longer attracted to your partner, it’s just that life as a couple is no longer attractive to you. Therefore, your life is not satisfying either, as you spend most of your time with your loved one.
There is a feeling of boredom and emptiness. When you see your partner, you still feel “butterflies in your stomach”, but at the same time you don’t think you have enough strength to continue. If you start by doing different activities as a couple, you will regain meaning and passion, thus improving your mood.
When there is disenchantment, we do not experience this feeling of boredom or emptiness. The feeling is more like a disappointment, that there is no turning back. It is as if something that has always been there suddenly disappears without a trace. You may even feel sadness and compassion for the other person.
Love is the feeling of reward par excellence. It captivates positively and is accompanied by a strong attraction, a tendency to be and to share life. Lack of love is the opposite. It is not rewarding and it takes us away from the person we love. When there is disenchantment, there is no commitment or desire to share life with that person.
If there is disenchantment, the only way out is to break up. There is no turning back no matter how hard we try. Lack of love can signal the end of a stage and it must be accepted. However, when routine does emerge, there are still possible solutions. Routine can be overcome, disenchantment cannot.
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