Friendship Multiplies Joys And Divides Sorrows
Friendship is a protective element of our psychological and physical health. This evidence of isolation has a great impact on mortality; in fact, some studies claim that a lack of psychological support has the same harmful effects on our health as smoking, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, obesity or lack of physical exercise.
In this sense, we can say that the close ties that we create with others multiply our well-being and divide our anxiety. Because building strong bonds with others strengthens us, undoubtedly.
Obviously, reaching a satisfactory psychological proximity with the people around us is not easy; often disappointments lead us to prefer solitude. However, if this loneliness does not turn into isolation, then our health has no reason to suffer.
Being surrounded by people who love us makes us psychologically strong and prevents emotional difficulties derived from various issues such as divorce, financial obstacle or illness.
In other words, having friends helps us divide the stress. It is wonderful to be able to have a confidant, someone who can offer us help, advice, or a shoulder to cry on. The mere presence of the people we love in our life is enough to reduce the impact of the setbacks that we sometimes have to face.
Thus, the quality and frequency of our friendly relations seem essential if we want to reduce the discomfort and anxiety that sometimes paralyzes us. As Robin says in The Adventures of Robin Hood :
“Speak freely and give us your sorrows. The flow of words calms the heart of the one who suffers; it’s like opening the floodgates when the tank threatens to overflow. ”
Psychologist and researcher James Pennebaker performed an experiment that showed him that talking about the issues that worry us most has a beneficial effect on us, both physically and psychologically. In other words, talking with our friends gives us iron health.
When we talk about emotional skills, we are referring to our ability to recognize, channel and dominate our feelings, the empathy and feelings that arise in the social relationships we have with others.
Thus, very often, when we are in the company of good friends, we succeed in strengthening our emotional skills; this allows us to be more willing to see others come closer to us (and vice versa), because we will be more able to forge strong bonds.
This wonderful feeling of having an emotional lifeline protecting us is incomparable; feeling that we are loved is not only hopeful, but it is also strengthening and revitalizing.
Be aware of the fact that our friends want to see us, to talk with us, of the fact that they are interested in us and at the same time, that they grant us an emotional status which often saves us from the abyss ; for all these reasons, we can be sure that these people we love so much occupy a very important place in our life.
This passage from the novel Moon Palace by Paul Auster illustrates this idea well:
“At that time, I didn’t know it; it was clear though, but knowing what I know now, it is impossible for me to ignore those days without feeling a smell of longing for my friends. In a way, it alters the reality of what I have experienced.
I jumped off a cliff and just when I was about to hit rock bottom an amazing thing happened: I understood that there were people who loved me, and that was changing all.
The fear of falling does not decrease, but it does lead you to see this fear from a different perspective. I jumped, then at the last moment something caught up with me in flight. This something is what I define as love.
It’s the only thing that can stop a man’s fall, the only thing powerful enough to break the laws of gravity. ”
Remember: a smile, a conversation or a word of encouragement are real buoys that can save us when we fall prey to fear or discomfort.
Images of Kristina Webb, Claudia Tremblay and other unknown authors
Goleman, D. (2011), Emotional Intelligence
