Committed People Inspire Confidence In Others
Committed people inspire confidence in us. They mark out a path on which to steer our steps confidently. They are light in the dark. The people involved reassure us in the face of uncertainty, because we know they will act as they say.
Someone who commits to something does so not only for great causes or in great projects. He also does it with small gestures. And small gestures, in truth, have much greater value than we realize. Imagine that person who, every time you manage to set a date to meet again, ends up canceling the date at the last moment. On several occasions and sometimes even while you are already on your way to meet him.
People involved do not use lies to justify themselves
But she does this not only when you want to see her. You have already realized that this is someone you can doubt. Someone who ends up generating uncertainty unworthy of a friend. Cancel your commitments, find hundreds of excuses to justify a lack of interest … Little lies which, added one after the other, have a devastating effect on others. This breeds mistrust. Lack of trust kills relationships. It fills us with uncertainty. It is a fertilizer in the realm of uncertainty.
And uncertainty is that silent killer that destroys all fertile ground in our life. That we are not interested in a person or that they are not to our liking is something completely natural. This is something we shouldn’t be ashamed of. Moreover, what would be strange is that we are interested in everything and always in the same way.
No one is forcing us to commit to what we don’t want
In a way, here the solution seems simple. If something doesn’t interest me, I walk away from it because I have no interest in committing to it. However, there are people who have become so used to wanting to please everyone that they end up discrediting themselves. All this for a tireless search for the approval of the other.
They get lost and will eventually hear a dull cry inside of them that will alert them to something that is wrong with their life. Something that doesn’t authentically work. Maybe you remember that time when you did something just to make the other person happy. You didn’t feel comfortable. You probably felt “sold” to something that was not right with you.
However, when we talk about people who are important to us, it is important to think about the trustworthiness that we inspire in these people. If we want to be reliable or if in truth this is something we do not care about.
Value your word if you want to be a reliable person
If you want to be reliable you can think of those times when, not wanting to do something, you came up with an excuse to get rid of it. Imagine other times when you compromised with something and missed that commitment. A feeling of shame probably arose. Repentance perhaps.
But… repentance, why? The healthiest thing would be to regret having given our word when we did not have all the certainty of being able to respect it. Sometimes we go through small commitments in life without really thinking about whether we will be able to fulfill them or not. And the truth is, when something really matters to us, a lot of these commitments are made with the best of our intentions.
In this sense, we need to be aware of how we harm and damage the bonds that bind us to others. Trust and security form a large part of the foundation that we need to build good relationships with others. If I am suspicious of someone and feel uncomfortable around them, such a relationship is of little value to me. It doesn’t really allow me to be myself, I can’t enjoy it with the serenity of being well received.
Taking stock of your commitments is a good start
If I consistently break my word… If I consistently break my commitments, I will damage the trust that the other has placed in me. Of course, there will be times in life when we have to give up our commitments.
The people involved sometimes also have to postpone their commitments. They are not infallible. Unexpected events can arise that must be taken into account. But we’re not talking about that. We are talking about those who break their word out of habit and without the justification of force majeure.
We have the right not to always be able to insure everything. Not wanting to commit to what we don’t want or what we know we can’t respect. We have the right to be genuine and honest with others as well as with ourselves. However, it is just as important to give value to our word and to anything that we freely decide to commit to.
This way, it will be easier to reconsider our relationships and the why of certain behaviors. Once we understand that our word, however “small” it may be, has value for us and for others, we will give it the importance it really deserves. And so we won’t waste it casually anymore.
Our thoughts Trust is the steel bond that consolidates all meaningful relationships.
