5 Emotional Wounds From Childhood That Linger Into Adulthood

Problems encountered in childhood predict how our quality of life will be when we are adults.

In addition, they can significantly influence how the children of today will act tomorrow and moreover they will influence the way we face adversity.

So somehow from these 5 emotional wounds or painful childhood experiences we are going to form a part of our personality. In the following lines, we will see what are our injuries defined by Lise Bourbeau.

1- The fear of abandonment

Loneliness is the worst enemy for those who have experienced abandonment during their childhood. There will be constant attention to this lack, therefore, whoever has suffered from it, will abandon their partners and projects early, for fear of being abandoned.

It would be something like “I go before you leave me”, “no one is supporting me, I’m not ready to put up with this”, “if you go, don’t come back…”.

People who suffered  from abandonment in childhood will have to work on their fear of loneliness and their fear of being rejected.

The injury caused by abandonment is not easy to heal. Thus, you will be aware that you have started to heal when the fear of having moments of loneliness subsides and a positive and hopeful inner dialogue begins to flow within you.

2 fear of rejection

It is a deep wound, because it involves the rejection of our inner being. With the inner word we refer to our experiences, thoughts and feelings.

The appearance of the feeling of rejection can be explained by many factors that can influence it, such as rejection from parents, family or peers. It generates thoughts of rejection, the feeling of being unwanted and disqualification of oneself.

The person suffering from this painful experience does not feel worthy of affection or understanding and they isolate themselves in their inner emptiness for fear of being rejected.

It is likely that the people who experienced this in their childhood, will be  elusive people. So, we have to work on our inner fears and those situations that generate us panic.

If this is the case for you, be careful to be careful about yourself, take risks, and make decisions for yourself.

Each time you will be a little less bothered that people walk away from you and when they forget you at a certain point, you will no longer take it as something personal.

3- humiliation

This hurt is generated when we think others disapprove of us and criticize us. We can generate these problems for our children by telling them that they are stupid, bad, or heavy, or by telling others about their problems. It destroys the child’s self-esteem.

These people will have a dependent personality. Additionally, we may have learned to be “tyrants” and selfish as a defense mechanism and even to humiliate others, to use it as a protective shield.

Having suffered from this type of experience requires working on our independence, our freedom, understanding our needs and fears as well as our priorities.

4- betrayal or fear of trusting

It appears when the child has felt betrayed by one of his parents, especially if the latter has not fulfilled his promises.

This can generate mistrust which can be transformed into envy and other negative feelings, since one does not feel worthy of what has been promised and what others have.

Having suffered from these problems in childhood builds manipulative people, who want to control everything and control well. If you had these problems during childhood, you are likely to feel the need to exert some control over others, which is often justified by a strong character.

We often see their mistakes of these people in their ways of acting. It is therefore a matter of working on patience, tolerance and knowing how to live, as well as learning to be alone and to delegate responsibilities.

5- injustice

It results from an environment in which the main protectors are cold and authoritarian. In childhood, too much demand that goes beyond the limits generates feelings of helplessness and worthlessness, both in childhood and in adulthood.

The direct consequences on the behavior of those who have suffered from it will be rigidity, as these people try to be very important and gain great power.

Moreover, it is likely that this injustice creates a fanaticism for order and perfectionism and an inability to make confident decisions.

It is necessary to work on mistrust and mental rigidity, to generate maximum flexibility and allow to have confidence in others.

Now that we know the five soul wounds that can affect our well-being, our health, and our ability to develop as people, we can begin to put in place a healing process. 

Images courtesy of natalia_maroz and jrcasas

Source of the idea: Bourbeau, L. (2003) The five wounds that prevent you from being yourself. OB Stare.