Modern Education Creates Children With Straitjackets

Carles Capdevila said, with common sense, that “ our children must be children and be wrong, but they must also understand how adult life works”. At the same time, reality tells us that sometimes we restrict them so much that we turn little ones into kids in straitjackets. A uniform sewn to measure by certain styles of modern education in which error is the devil and overprotection the norm.

Let me explain. Modern education, on many occasions, seeks to form children so happy and admirable that they could not feel disappointed,  could not see what is not suitable for them, could not be frustrated. They must be perfect in all areas or at least seek to be so, being more prisoners of this utopia than motivated by it.

The mistake of modern education

These children who are so perfect and happy on paper don’t really seem to be. In fact, some parents seek  to constantly monitor their children so that they do not make mistakes and so that they do not get frustrated if they are stripped of their right to make mistakes,  and with their right to make mistakes. they rob them of any possibility of learning.

This is what a study conducted in 2011. The experiment consisted of offering different toys to kindergarten children. A little later, the one leading the experiment entered the little one’s room. The conditions of the experiment were marked by the way the researcher acted in the room. One of the options was to explain to the child how the toy he had chosen works. After that, he left, leaving the child alone.

This study found that  children who were shown how a toy worked then played more repetitively and limitedly with it,  and therefore became bored more quickly.

During this time, the children who had not received instructions were given the task of discovering for themselves how the toy worked. This challenge made them develop their creativity as they tried to play with the object in different ways and, as a result, got bored much less quickly.

This is why University of California psychology professor Alison Gopnik considers  today’s over-directed early childhood education to be a mistake. Parents must help their children to grow up successfully, but they must be aware that their intervention consists in helping them, accompanying them or facilitating their discovery. They don’t have to face challenges for them, challenges that children can overcome with the abilities they have.

Parents of modern education

Alison Gopnik defines these types of parents, defenders of modern education, as carpenters. They constantly seek to model, as if their children were a piece of wood that should be worked and shaped. Thus,  these parents are very concerned about their children adopting their norms, values ​​and dreams.  In fact, they are able to turn their frustrations and desires onto the little ones. They are characterized by several points:

• They try to organize the lives of their children down to the smallest detail.  They leave nothing to chance and totally control the agenda of their little ones.
• Every dream of their child that does not coincide with theirs  is normally devalued. They always have the last word.
• The values ​​transmitted to children take the form of doctrines, even dogmas. There is no freedom of thought, reflection or criticism possible. Every attempt in this direction is either punished or ignored.

• Parents provide  any type of educational toys and activities that are considered useful for the child. However, they do not think of the pleasure of their children but of the stimulation of their capacities. This attitude is exempt from observation, the child’s opinion is not taken into account. Only that of the parents counts.
• They consider children to be in debt to parents  and therefore believe they have the right to manipulate, even when children become adults.
• They tend to protect and isolate children from the real world  as they view them as valuable possessions. They do not offer development tools appropriate to the profile of their children and their own tastes.

There is another education

Gopnik considers that there is another form of education that is much more positive, that of parent gardeners. She sees the progenitors as adults who water their flowers, which then grow thanks to their love and care.

“Live so that when your children think of righteousness, tenderness and integrity, they think of you.”

-H. Jackson Brown-

In other words, for Alison Gopnik,  parents must let their children grow up, keeping at bay the temptation to control them and intervene too much. Children must explore the world, make mistakes, stumble, learn to resolve conflicts, tolerate frustration and solve their own problems.

For her,  a child’s opinion should always be taken into account. He must explore and discover his own passions and abilities. For that, it is necessary to stimulate him, to give him freedom of thought, to let him think and to take his own decisions when he is able to take them; he is normally much more fit than the parents who defend modern education believe.

However, not everything is so simple:  for fear of controlling them too much, we can also fall into the trap of straying too far from them. We just have to be there to protect and help them, to provide for their curiosities and needs, so that they don’t miss anything. It’s a challenge but it’s a challenge of great value when we see how they grow up, accompanied by the pride of having done on their own something that they did not feel capable of a few months earlier. Let’s just be there to support them, without overprotecting them.

And yes, they will fall a thousand and once when they learn to walk, but they are better off when their bodies are prepared than later. Our role will therefore be to reach out to them and offer them our support so that they can recover.

“We can aspire to leave two lasting legacies to our children: one, from the roots; the other, wings. ”

-Hodding Carter-