Complicated Girls … Are They More Attractive?
Complicated girls are those who erect obstacles during the romantic conquest. Tradition tells us that this attitude awakens male interest. And that there is therefore nothing more ineffective than being an “easy girl”. Is this idea really valid?
First of all, it should be emphasized that when it comes to conquest and romantic relationship, there are no fixed rules. We fall in love with someone regardless of our list of criteria. However, during the flirting stage, it seems that some patterns are repeated relatively frequently. These models seem to show that complicated girls do indeed arouse more interest in men, but not under all circumstances.
This theme seems trivial … Yet many researchers have devoted time to this subject. Their goal was not to find the perfect recipe to win someone over, but to identify our reactions to certain stimuli as well as to analyze how couples form. Let’s see all of this in more detail later in this article.
An old experiment on complicated girls
In 1973, Dr. Elaine Walster of the University of Wisconsin (United States) performed a somewhat rudimentary experiment. She wanted to know if men had a “chip” that awakened in them a special interest in complicated girls.
For this, Elaine Walster and her collaborators hired the services of a prostitute. This choice allowed our doctor’s team to identify details on the subject during the most basic situation possible. The prostitute’s mission was as follows: to be reluctant when approaching certain clients and more attentive to others, in a haphazard fashion.
The result of this experience under these circumstances was this: Men immediately lost interest in her when she adopted an easy girl demeanor.
Elaine Walster’s team repeated the experience with women who used the services of a dating agency. The conclusion of this new experience was similar to the first experience with the prostitute. The only difference was that, in this new experience, the men were interested in women who were very selective but accessible with them. It should be noted that women in this new context sought to establish a relationship; it would therefore have been illogical for them to show themselves inaccessible and erect obstacles.
The difficulty and the desire
We’ve all heard it said that the harder something is to get, the more we value it. This idea has also been verified in social psychology: people value more belonging to groups where access was difficult. This brings us to the subject of this article, the idea that men like challenges and that if women are easily seduced, the charm no longer works.
Neuroscience tells us that it’s not just men who like a challenge, women too. It adds a good dose of charm to our subject. Dr. Robert Weiss, Vice President of Elements Behavioral Health , tells us that both men and women use more or less elaborate strategies to challenge each other during the flirting stage.
However, the techniques used by women and those used by men are quite different. It is common for a woman to “play” the role of the complicated girl by feigning disinterest. It therefore generally takes a long time to respond to messages and is very unavailable. The man, him, generally prefers to be in the action and then commits acts which will make his target jealous.
Complicated girls, a delicate subject
A person who is unreachable does not always adopt this attitude as a flirting strategy. Some people can’t help but put up barriers in the first phase of flirting because they are insecure and afraid of pain. The other detects this fearful reluctance and usually ends up walking away.
Along the same lines, research published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology shows us that the complicated girl paradigm only works when the man is genuinely interested in the woman. The difficult approach does not work as a desire trigger: the difficulty increases the desire when there is already an interest in the target in question.
There are many times when there is no prior interest. When this is the case, the person who tries to reconcile ends up losing motivation. No one wants to put in too much effort for something they’re not sure they want. In these cases, the opposite works: showing yourself available and interested can ignite the necessary spark for the creation of a romantic relationship.
Our thoughts The characteristics of philophobia highlight the phobia of developing any kind of emotional connection with a person.
