Self-esteem And Emotional Dependence: Communing Vessels
It is clear that we are social beings. We love to please and share things with others. But can this need for approval be detrimental to us? Here we have one of the keys to emotional dependence. Do you have to love everyone or just the people who are really important to you? Who are these important people in your life? Do they absolutely have to approve of everything you do?
We invite you to ask yourself these questions and try to answer them. It’s one thing to know exactly what you want to do and also to know that your loved ones approve of it, and it’s another to feel like if everyone doesn’t love you, then things are not worth it… The difference, while subtle, is nonetheless important. Keep reading this article to find out how it all affects your well-being!
People with emotional addiction are in dire need of affection and attention, as well as the approval of others. They feel an irrational fear of loneliness and abandonment, which will make them more submissive in their relationships. In addition, they have a strong desire for exclusivity and could not imagine living without their companion / mate.
They, therefore, exhibit a persistent pattern of emotional needs that they are unable to meet on their own, which is why they attempt to cover them by making inadequate connections with others. In other words, they develop parasitic and asymmetrical relationships, leading to actions of all types and conditions and which justify only one goal: that the relationship does not end.
But that’s not all. They crave feelings of protection and affection so intensely that they seek it out in the other in such a way that they come to cancel themselves out, regardless of the quality of the relationship they maintain. Thus, they make connections that are very intense and unstable, rather than others that are healthier. It’s clear that we all appreciate feeling loved, but… we’re not willing to do anything to make it happen, are we?
The problem with (excessive) emotional dependence is that if the people who suffer from it do not receive the inordinate care or tenderness that they need, then irrational doubts arise about their own worth and the esteem they have. they have for others, which will have an influence on their self-esteem and on the emotions they feel.
In this way, feelings of rejection, rejection and abandonment appear. In this way, sadness is present too intensely, which can lead us to enter a vicious cycle of emotional emptiness and chronic dissatisfaction from which it is very complicated to come out: depression.
But that’s not all ; the fear of loneliness, which leads sufferers to do everything they can to avoid being alone, causes symptoms of anxiety to increase. The person anticipates the possibility of what might happen; so she becomes very nervous, and she launches into toxic romantic relationships.
As you can imagine, people with emotional addiction have low self-esteem and see themselves in a negative light. This again leads to a greater need to seek support and affection in others. In other words, to be good, they need others to be good with them.
The reality is, the only person we spend our entire life with is ourselves. Therefore, it is fundamental to base our well-being on seeking our own approval, and not that of others. What do we mean by that? That it is important that the first person we try to please is ourselves.
But, what can be done to please us more? A very simple exercise would be to look every day for something that made us feel good, both physically and psychologically. At the beginning, it is a task that will require effort from us, since we are not used to it, but in the long run, we will foster positive affection with ourselves. Thus, we will reduce the pathological emotional dependence. Do you like to !
Images by Rebecca Matthews, Adam Jang and Hope House Press
