We Only Listen To What We Want To Hear
We human beings want to be sure of everything. We tend to believe that our opinions are very valid and valid, even though we often don’t know why we are thinking the way we do. It is not uncommon for these characteristics to outweigh reason itself. This is why he says to himself that we only listen to what we want to hear.
This is due to the way selective attention works. She co nsiste to focus only on certain aspects, leaving aside the other, particularly with regard to beliefs and opinions. It may seem logical to do this, because it is impossible to take everything that is happening around us into account. However, it becomes a mistake or a cognitive bias that causes us to stop perceiving reality adequately.
Indeed, the information that we select through our attention mechanism is not necessarily the most valid or relevant . Rather, we try to take into account only what confirms our beliefs or validates our opinions. This is why we only listen to what we want to hear.
Selective attention and its effects
One way or another, we always take some realities into account more than others. The human cognitive system has limits, which is why he must focus only on certain aspects and do without others in order to function properly. This is an adaptive response to avoid an overload in the processing of stimuli.
However, reasonable selective attention can easily lead to a sort of hermeticity in the face of the evidence. This is where we only listen to what we want to hear. We are building a wall. We develop a closed attitude towards anything that challenges our beliefs or opinions.
We almost always do this process without knowing it. For example, we only surround ourselves with people who think or act in a very similar way to us. We exclude others because we assume that differences will be a source of conflict. Likewise, we look for environments that reinforce our beliefs and we build the idea that we are right since everything and everyone around us confirms it. In practice, we put ourselves in a position where we only listen to what we want to hear.
We only listen to what we want to hear through another cognitive bias
Selective attention bias is not the only influencing factor. We only listen to what we want to hear because of another bias: confirmation. It is the tendency to look for evidence that validates what we think or believe. And, at the same time, to ignore the evidence that calls into question the validity of our opinions and beliefs.
The human being does it almost unconsciously. If we come across information or someone who brings up something that contradicts what we believe, we tend to reject it. We are not examining the validity of what she is saying. We simply refuse to test his arguments. Even though what they say is relevant, we always find a way to reinterpret it to match what we believe or think.
At the end of the day, we are often not interested in knowing the truth. We want to confirm that we are right and use all means to achieve it. This is particularly valid for people who are insecure: they are more stubborn in their prejudices.
The effects of this situation
The first effect of keeping ourselves in a position where we only listen to what we want to hear is to stay in a possible error. We deprive ourselves of the possibility of enriching ourselves, of broadening our horizon and, above all, of accessing a greater degree of truth. This ends up creating other problems.
In depressed people, for example, selective attention and confirmation biases can sometimes have devastating effects. They end up taking into account and validating everything that reaffirms their estrangement and their suffering in the face of the world and life. Basically, they keep themselves in a perspective that only increases their discomfort and their. They don’t realize what they’re doing. Their truth prevails over more objective truths.
The same could be said for anxiety cases. For cases where there is a delusional construct, obviously. This is why it is so important to work to get out of this condition in which we only listen to what we want to hear. It is advisable, at least from time to time, to approach without prejudice other ways of seeing and thinking, without judging them or being on the defensive. Let us open up to difference.
Our thoughts The definition of the various cognitive biases and their impact on our discomfort as well as on possible psychological disorders.
