5 Communication Errors Within The Couple

There are communication errors in the couple that persist for years. At first, they are just a simple deficiency, but they end up becoming a habit, mechanisms that prevent the identification and solution of many problems that arise between two people who love each other.

One of the central axes in couple relationships is communication. This area where feelings, thoughts and desires are expressed. The main thing for things to run smoothly is that communication is good. If it is not or if it deteriorates, then new problems may begin to appear in other areas of the relationship.

The majority of communication errors in the couple are due to fears or a lack of maturity ; one develops defensive attitudes towards the other. This is why it is always good to self-assess and determine whether or not you are exposed to one of these errors. It’s worth realizing this and getting it right in time. In the rest of this article, we’ll walk you through some of these errors.

Absolutism is a form of extremism in communication that does a lot of harm. It is linked to an egocentric view of the world, but also to the inability to capture the different nuances that make up reality. It involves difficulty in understanding and accepting perspectives that are different from our own.

This is one of the most common communication mistakes between couples. It translates into words like “If you love me, you can’t cause me any annoyance.” As if the human being was not filled with paradoxes and contradictions. Absolutism remains reflected in the attempt to impose behavior. “ You must” be so. “You must” do this or that.

Selectivity or tunnel vision operates when you try to interpret everything through a single category. Unfortunately, this category is that of the negative. In other words, everything in the other is frowned upon. Even the good sides.

This is one of the most common communication errors within a couple, one of the most painful. It is as if there is a need to correct everything all the time in the other person. To show him the most fragile or erroneous aspects of these behaviors. It is characteristic of people who are not able to cope with the real conflict behind it all.

Extremism in communication is similar to absolutism. However, extremism refers more to emotional reactions. Gestures and emotions are also part of communication within the couple.

In this case, any small issue becomes a tragedy. Even the most trivial difficulties end in scenes of crying and screaming.

Extremism denotes a lack of self-control and difficulty of analysis. It is likely that people who exhibit this type of behavior seek in their partner the father or mother of their childhood. They want to show, above all, their infantile facets. They seek understanding and support, as a child would. Over time, this hinders the support of authentic communication. It also does not allow mutual development, nor does it promote autonomy.

This is one of the most common communication errors in a couple. It occurs when one of the two members of the couple considers that he can guess the thoughts of the other. He starts from the idea that he knows his partner better than anyone else, and even believes himself capable of knowing the other’s most hidden intentions and thoughts.

This type of communication most often generates big misunderstandings, and it is the innuendo that leads to it. Divination reflects a lack of confidence in the other, as well as a certain paranoia. The person is always looking for and interpreting what the other is saying, reading between the lines. It is also a form of attempt at control.

Labeling is about stereotyping the other. It is common for this to happen after one problem has been encountered, but also when the other has made a mistake. From there, the latter remains condemned to stay in a castle. It can be that of the “discredited”, of the “despised”, of the “irresponsible”, etc. The objective, in any case, is to mark it with a seal.

All of these communication errors occur within the couple. Their most harmful effect is that they undermine the possibility of understanding each other. They also affect mutual trust and eventually erode affection and attachment.

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