Communication: Learn To Express Yourself Better, And You Will Improve Your Relationships
Communication between human beings is always imperfect. No matter how hard you want to and try to do it, you cannot express yourself in a completely precise way, especially when talking about your feelings and emotions. It is much easier to communicate ideas rather than feelings: because we are more used to it, because normally it engages us and involves us less. This is one of the reasons why it is easier to maintain a professional relationship than a personal one.
What we can do, however, is improve our communication skills. In fact, it is worth doing this because the impact this change has on our relationships with others is very positive, since they are mainly based on verbal interaction. How well our relationships work depends in large part on how we use words.
What is certain is that we can avoid many conflicts if we learn to express ourselves better. How many difficulties in relationships arise precisely from what is said, from what is not said, or from the way things are said? It is important to learn to show affection and also disagreements; because yes, it can be learned. In the rest of this article, we’ll share some strategies with you that will help you express yourself better.
Different studies support the idea that unspoken, unmanifested negative feelings can make us sick. Keeping quiet to avoid conflict or out of fear of what others may think is never a good option. What is you acquires power and conditions our way of acting, often without reason.
It is not important to learn to express yourself only when you are experiencing a negative emotion. Many are those who also refrain from sharing positive emotions. It seems awkward or too honeyed to them. Maybe in excess it can be, but when you never show affection or approval, you also build a border of coldness with others.
Even though there are real experts in this art, if a person says something they don’t feel, normally others will notice this insincerity. Maybe she doesn’t consciously do it, but a person who communicates in a not very open way always generates a certain uneasiness around them, an imprecise rejection.
We lie about feelings to supposedly please others, not hurt or manipulate them. This, instead of nourishing the relationship, deteriorates it. Falsehood ends up severing bonds between people or preventing a relationship from gaining depth and trust.
Often, we cannot express clearly what we feel because in reality, very often, we ourselves do not know it. Often, feelings and emotions do not appear “in their pure state”. Some mingle and intermingle with others. Let’s not try to give a generic name to what it feels like, it is worth the effort and the effort to try to identify it more precisely.
An effective method of being able to narrow down what one is feeling is to try to separate everything that is in that confused feeling that one is experiencing. Try to separate all the parts that make it up. Probably that by doing this, everything will become clearer and that, therefore, we will be able to express ourselves better.
Uncontrolled anger is one of the main enemies of productive communication. Under states of elation, we think and say a lot of things that only deteriorate a relationship. The solution then is not to try to deny that anger, to suppress it or to let it pass, no; anger is precisely one of the emotions that needs to be verbalized in order to be able to be managed.
What one should not do is speak when one suspects that the anger is still strong enough to take control of what one is saying. In this case, however, it is very important to shut up and wait for the tension to subside. When a person says something in a dry way, generally, it is not listened to by the other person (s) to whom it is addressed: this latter (s) disconnect (s) in the face of verbal violence. In this sense, the tone and attitude are often more important than the content of the message, a message that is useless if it does not reach its recipient.
Once calmed down, one should speak up and show the reason for the anger. It is very important to make an effort to express ourselves in a precise and clear manner. Let’s keep nothing, but always maintain control of ourselves. In this way, the recipient of the message will listen to us more and give the subject we are talking about the seriousness it deserves.
It is always worth working to communicate better. Anyone who develops this ability makes sure they are successful in building better relationships with others, both personally and professionally. It is not that difficult. It is simply the result of constant effort and conscious, directed practice.
Our thoughts According to Austrian psychologist Paul Watzlawick, communication plays a fundamental role in our lives and in the social order.
