How To Deal With Your Negative Thoughts?
Likewise, if you believe that an exam is going to be difficult and that you will never make it, or that the job interview you are going to pass is going to be a disaster, you will give yourself perfect excuses to devote to them. less time and to feel a little more peaceful.
How do you deal with these negative thoughts?
When faced with a negative thought, you can start by thinking about it, with the aim of rationalizing it or converting it into a positive thought that expresses what you desire.
You can also accept the presence of this thought in your head, without controlling it, while waiting for it to disappear from your mind.
Everyone does as they wish, but don’t forget to choose the option that makes you the most good, and that allows you to flourish.
Faced with these three alternatives, the last two are the ones that allow us to feel the best, because they allow us to move towards something that we like.
Indeed, the second aims to convert our negative language towards a more positive goal, while the third is simply to no longer pay attention to this black idea.
To keep things simple, we’re going to tell you about the Bus and Passenger Metaphor, which will allow you to observe how our negative thoughts and emotions can take control of our mind, causing us to deviate from our plans, our way, even by completely preventing us from living.
The bus and passenger metaphor
Imagine that you are the driver of a bus, full of passengers. Passengers are thoughts, feelings, memories, and anything in your mind.
The bus has only one entrance door, through which it is impossible to exit. Some passengers are very rude, and have a dangerous appearance.
While you are driving the bus, some of them start threatening you by telling you what to do, where to go and which path to take.
They insult you, discourage you, tell you that you are a bad driver, an absolute failure, and that no one likes you.
You feel very bad then, and you do whatever they ask you to get them to the back of the bus, and be silent.
But one day, you have had enough of these constant threats, and you want to kick them off the bus. Only you can’t, so you try to argue with them and you confront them.
Without realizing it, the first thing you do is stop driving. Now you don’t go any further. And besides, the passengers are very strong, they resist you, and you can’t get them off that bus. You are resigned, you return to your seat and you resume your journey, as they order you.
That way, so that they don’t bother you and to have peace of mind, you keep doing whatever they tell you and follow whatever directions they give you, so you don’t have to argue again. You do as they tell you, while dreaming of ejecting them from your life.
Very quickly, without realizing it, they will no longer need to tell you “turn left”, because you will turn to the left of yourself, so that they do not get angry and do not have to face them. . Soon you will start to justify their decisions, believing that you are driving the bus the only way you can.
The power of these passengers is based on threats like: “if you don’t do as you are told, we will appear in your life, and when you look at us, you will feel bad”. But, in reality, that’s all they can do to you.
And it is true that when these passengers appear, your thoughts and feelings are very negative, and they hurt you a lot. That’s why you accept this deal, and do what they ask of you so that they shut up, and go and hide at the back of the bus.
Take back control of the passengers because, in reality, you have lost control of the bus! They don’t turn the wheel, use the throttle and brake, and they don’t decide where you stop. You are the driver!
There will always be some background noise in your mind, but you can decide for yourself how far to look. It is you who give them the role of a main character, or who decide to make them extras.
Image by Francisco Peralta and Tim brown
