Never Adapt To What Doesn’t Make You Happy
Some advertisements and many articles on the internet promote the theory that “ Happiness is Busyness ”, meaning that we can only be happy by being busy.
If it is certain that concepts like that of the “flow” of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi give pride of place to the idea that focusing our body on a task can allow us to achieve a certain peace of mind, we must ask ourselves about the importance of the task itself that we choose from this perspective. In fact, many people take a dim view of these precepts because not all of us are happy in what we do. We often work to be able to provide for ourselves and our families, not to take care of our psychological well-being.
We could say, without being afraid of making mistakes, that we all embrace the difficulties of our daily lives, even when we are aware that this routine does not make us happy. We are trapped in a vicious circle that never stops turning. If some people seem to us happy and satisfied with their existence, we are not in this case and we can see it every day.
We adapt to feel safe
When we were children, our parents made a double knot in our shoes, so that they did not relax and we fell. They enveloped us in sweaters and coats with all their tenderness, they raised the collars of our blouses and our jackets so that we were very warm.
However, these clothes did not give us any comfort and we felt oppressed by all these layers of fabric, but we felt a certain security. As we grow older and take on the responsibilities of adults, this need to feel secure remains very present. However, this inexorable impulse which pushes us to seek always more security, and which directs our life, is not always conscious.
Strange as it may sound, our brains are the most sensitive to this need for security. He doesn’t like changes, risks, let alone threats. It is he who urges us to adapt even if we are not happy, because security guarantees survival. However, and we should be aware of this, adaptation does not always go hand in hand with happiness.
Some people have a relationship in which there is no real love, genuine bonding, or even happiness. The important thing for these people is to escape loneliness. They do not hesitate for a single moment to adapt to a heart and a personality that does not bring them happiness.
It is often the same at the professional level. There are overwhelming numbers of people who choose to keep a low profile. Docile, malleable people, who rely on the various consensual mentions of their CV to be able to adapt to the demands of the hierarchies of companies which are designed for everything but to create happiness.
It is as if our brain lives according to the philosophy of this maxim: “Adapt or die, give up in order to survive.”
But do we really deserve to live and die in misfortune?
Why should we adapt if we are different from others?
To be happy we have to make decisions
Even though our brains are reluctant to change and urge us to stay in our comfort zone, it is also genetically engineered to meet challenges and overcome obstacles. A scientific discovery on this subject should invite us to an intense reflection.
Researchers Richard Herrnstein and Charles Murray defined the concept called “ the Flynn effect ” a few years ago . They have observed that we continue to gain IQ points over the years. It means that our life is filled with stimuli. Nowadays, we have access to a lot of information, we interact more and future generations will have even more ease in dealing with all these processes, and in particular those related to the use of new technologies.
Psychologists, psychiatrists, sociologists and anthropologists all agree on one point: a high IQ has nothing to do with happiness. Being happy does not necessarily correlate with having stronger and more powerful neural connections than others. It is a strange and rather sad phenomenon, it must be admitted.
But then why do we continue to develop our IQ? Quite simply to adapt to the information society in which we live. We withdraw into our comfort zone, we invent a substitute for happiness, we embrace the stress and anxiety that our rhythms of life bring us.
We forget that to be happy we have to make strong decisions. That we have to take off those undersized shoes that oppress us and venture out to walk barefoot. We must not forget that love is not supposed to make us suffer, that docility at work is not a given, and we must venture to pursue our own path as we see fit. In search of our own happiness.
How about getting started today?
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