Parents Who Turn Their Children Into Narcissistic Little Beings
Many parents believe that their child is the most beautiful, that he gets the best grades, that he is the smartest, the one who does everything well… This is natural, we are all special and unique in essence. However, by only telling younger people what they are doing right, ignoring what is not, we can turn them into little narcissistic beings.
“No more, no less” would be an applicable term in this case. There are parents who choose to give their children negative reinforcement that undermines their self-esteem, making them feel inadequate and invalid. Others opt for positive reinforcement, where the negative is ignored. Both extremes have very damaging consequences. Let’s see how little narcissists grow up.
The food of little narcissists
We are not going to say that praising children is wrong. It is obviously posi tive to underline what they do well: “ look how well you did this exercise ”, “ you cleaned the table well ”, “you behaved very well “. However, we know that children are not perfect, that they make mistakes and that they do things wrong.
The food of little narcissists is usually the incessant praise accompanied by the satisfaction of every whim on the part of the parents. Children can also stand up for them despite the fact that they are not right and blame others as long as their children are not responsible for what has happened.
It is not good for a child to learn to shirk responsibility. He will grow up believing that mistakes belong to others, that others can bear the consequences of his actions, and in the long run, he will end up frustrated when he finds out that relationships and the world don’t work that way.
If a child grows up thinking that he never does anything wrong, and those who make mistakes are other people, he will believe that he is perfect. So why make the effort? Why act otherwise? On the contrary, he will continue to demand and point the finger at the mistakes of others, to the point of imposing his tyranny.
The abundance of praise, as well as the absence of boundaries and guidelines as to what is not done well can generate small narcissistic beings over time. Many parents may believe that by not pointing out mistakes to their children is doing them a favor, when in reality it is preventing them from maturing emotionally. They will encounter many difficulties in the future in order to relate properly with others, as well as to value themselves.
When parents overestimate their children, they put a veil over their eyes that prevents them from being critical of their offspring. If a child pushes another and his parents, instead of explaining to him that it is not right and that he must apologize, just tell him that it is nothing, that the other child has certainly done something, his ego will be inflated. But this is not the worst. The child, in the future, will not be able to admit his mistakes or accept that he is wrong.
Build good self-esteem without falling into narcissism
Not constantly praising does not mean that we should not highlight and value what our children do that are good. Building healthy self-esteem is always possible. The key is in balance.
Children should feel accepted for who they are, even if they have more acceptable behaviors than others. Parents cannot think that if they tell their children what they are doing wrong, they will be sad and feel unloved. We must teach them from an early age what unconditional love is.
Communicating to children that we love them, and that irritation or annoyance doesn’t mean we don’t love them anymore, is essential. It is also important to educate them in equality, without making comments allowing them to consider that they are in a superior position compared to others. Teaching them that we are all equal, but with different characteristics and qualities, is a great idea.
In addition, it is important to teach them that there is a time for everything and that we must all make an effort, especially when they choose demanding and demanding behavior.
As we can see, little narcissists often learn to behave selfishly through a series of conditions and attitudes related to the guidelines and education provided by their parents. Although it is true that the personal characteristics of each child, such as their character as well as other types of variables, also have an influence.
It’s important to remember, however, that children are not perfect, even if parents won’t admit it. They also make mistakes and must learn to take responsibility for them. Conversely, parents do them no favors, but on the contrary cause them deep damage.
Our thoughts Child tyrants or child kings are more and more numerous in our societies. How to explain it and, above all, how to remedy it?
