Possessive And Toxic Friends: The Horror Of Living With Intrusive People

Certain relationships systematically weaken us; these are the relationships we have with possessive and toxic friends, which we only share with intrusive people, and which end up giving rise to a real feeling at the source of the horror.

Invasive people suffocate us, weaken us and regularly suck our energy.

They leave no space for the interests and needs that each person may have individually.

When we blame them for their demands, they tend to tell us that if they do this it is for our good, which allows them to lead us to wonder if we have adopted the right attitude, and to manage our feeling of guilt as they please.

Probably these people don’t consciously want to harm us : more so, probably we have also become invasive and toxic people on some occasions.

Their selfish attitude can be explained by a chronic negative emotional state and a lack of self-esteem that they seek to replace in the only way they know how: by making the people around them their own.

“At the start of a relationship, obsessive people usually provide for material or nutritional needs that their new friend may show, in return for which they expect the latter not to seek other sources of satisfaction than themselves. ”

-Samuel Merlano-

How to identify narcissistic perverts

The co-action of our emotional and relational freedom functions like narcissistic perversion ; potential narcissistic perverts seek out the most appetizing people, or in other words, people who exhibit characteristics they envy: friendliness, charisma, strength of will, etc.

These possessive and toxic friends draw closer to the good essence of their friends by disguising their actions as a supposedly genuine friendship.

However, true friendship is not the one that prevents us from growing, but the one that nourishes the balance and well-being of all.

Thus, we can know that a good relationship is NOT:

• Emotionally abusing others.
• Manipulate others to achieve individual interests.
• Take advantage of the trust inherent in the links that unite us to the other to leave him without any emotional breath.
• To have sporadic acts of kindness in order to repair the sadness caused.
• To fiercely criticize these most hurtful subjects.
• Not providing the other with constant support.
• Promote emotional dependence.
• Remember past mistakes and use them through blackmail.

• Do not take responsibility for our actions.
• Humiliate the other in a subtle way without the common entourage of the victim understanding him as such.
• Being jealous of the other when he feels good with others.
• Reduce the development potential of the other.

There are narcissistic perverts of all ages and under all conditions.

Usually, these are people close to us who use their power and cunning in order to satisfy their need to manipulate, through which they can feed themselves socio-affectively, something they yearn for.

The more these people are hidden, the more dangerous they are. Maybe they’ve been your friend for years, and all you’ve been through with them keeps you from seeing that diseased tree in the middle of a lush forest.

Their ability to fuel a vision of martyrs seeks to push others to propagate the virtues of the other.

This is the reason why in arguments, they only give in when they know they can benefit more.

They skillfully master the reproach, with “you more” or “do you remember that? Well, now it’s happening to you ” . This “now it’s your turn” is usually an even bigger concession than the previous one.

They find it difficult to deal with direct confrontation, as they flee whenever something bothers them or does not fit with their interests and ego.

They prefer to remember things and reuse them in another situation, more appropriate to their needs.

In addition, they generally dress their reactions in a dramatic emotion, an aspect which, in the same way, ends up locking them behind the bars of the prison of compulsion, which causes a repetition of their pervasive stratagems.

However, the portrait of good and healthy friends is quite the reverse of the portrait depicted here; good and healthy friends are those who give us wings to fly and reasons to stay, they are those who promulgate sensitivity and emotion in a balanced and authentic way.

Remember that your ability to identify these people is up to you; it is also necessary that they do not catch you in their nets, and that they do not catch the people of your entourage either.

Flee from swords disguised as friendship, and always seek balance, for we assure you that you will not regret it. Stay away from those who pull you away from yourself.