The Routine In The Couple: What Is Positive, And What Is Negative
How many couples do you know who broke up because they “didn’t love each other anymore”? Is love really disappearing, or is it we who are not doing what is necessary to keep the flame alive? Perhaps we despise love too much, or fail to identify which are its worst enemies?
The routine and monotony are the two main reasons because of which the couples argue, separate or divorce.
However, we can also use our energy to improve the bond we have forged with this person that we love and to whom we are committed.
Imagine that you are a detective, and you are investigating a murder. “Love” was killed, and the main suspect in this crime is “Routine”. You begin to look for evidence, and you discover that Love trusted Routine too much, the latter having stuck a knife in his back.
Of course, it is normal that we often do the same things during our life, and more generally during our life as a couple.
Therefore, if there is a break, it is not because “love dies”, but because routine sets in.
The pet peeve of love is monotony, or in other words, boredom. The routine consists of always doing the same thing, always going to the same places (or never going anywhere), always talking about the same subjects, always watching the same movies, going on vacation to the same place every year, etc …
Once the routine sets in, other issues arise in the relationship, such as infidelity.
In saying this, we are not claiming to make excuses for the cheater, but rather to highlight the reasons why such things happen.
Q hen we get bored, we try to do something else, something that can change our ideas.
In love, the same thing happens. If we receive and always offer the same thing, then we will be tempted to go and see if by chance the grass is not greener elsewhere.
The couple have to contend with many storms as the years go by.
Monotony is one of the torments that most frequently affect the couple, but, unlike other marital problems, it sets in little by little.
However, the routine is also good; Did you know ? Indeed, as the saying goes, it is better to see the glass half full than half empty.
Monotony in the relationship is seen as a negative thing, and yet this is not always the case.
The positive and the negative in the routine
What is good about the routine?
First, we will introduce you to the positive aspects of the couple’s routine:
– Safety: when you always do the same thing, you feel protected, and that’s good. Indeed, otherwise, we are under pressure, and fear prompts us to act in a strange way.
Many young couples fear the routine that can set in by always having dinner in the kitchen, or doing groceries every Saturday morning.
In fact, routine should not be scary, you just have to learn to find happiness in security, in “what is certain”.
– Know it: if you always do different things, how can you know what appeals to your partner (and to you)?
All the things that we do out of routine show us who the people are who are always by our side and who we can really count on, but also what the other is thinking or feeling.
What is bad about the routine?
Monotony turns out to be harmful when work or the hustle and bustle of everyday life means that we forget the person who sleeps next to us every night.
This means that an external element comes to destroy the couple, which also depends on our way of considering each situation.
For example, this is not ideal if every day, it’s the same one who cooks dinner without asking the other if he had a good day, or the same who picks the children up from school, and who, once back home, sits down in front of the TV or the computer.
Little by little these kinds of small details damage the relationship little by little, like drops of water falling gently on the stone.
Be careful, if things happen this way occasionally during the week, it does not matter. On the other hand, if these behaviors become habits from Monday to Sunday, for months (or even years), you have to start worrying. The decision is yours.
