There Are People Who Inspire You And People Who Exhaust You

There are people who exhaust your time, your patience and your energy. They are sibylline presences, masters in the art of broken promises which are never at peace and which go to war against the whole world.

That’s why we need to be wise in our relationships, and surround ourselves with people who inspire us.

In an interesting study on social interaction conducted by the University of Rochester (New York), a curious data was found: 1 in 10 people present a personality style that experts define as “happiness saboteurs ” .

Exhausting people are perhaps the most common because they display, sometimes unknowingly, stressful behaviors that directly condition the environments in which they move.

I don’t leave anyone behind, but some people lose me a little more every day without barely realizing it.

I detach myself from them because they exhaust me, they take away my energy and I do not allow anyone to sabotage my happiness. I prefer to surround myself with people who inspire me.

Many of you must be thinking about bringing up this type of profile: we’re talking about toxic people once again, but that’s not quite it.

We must not fall so quickly into the use of these labels which are so unscientific and very popular because in general, we miss the particular behaviors and attitudes of a person or a particular personality style.

If a person exhausts us, it is because we are permeable to it. We invite you to think about this .

People who exhaust: psychological mechanisms

There are people who exhaust in our family, in our work, in our friends and even why not, in our emotional relationships.

They exhaust us when we are prisoners of affects and the loved one becomes a trader who points out our mistakes and makes us pay for them. They never tire of selfish speeches, prejudices and fields undermined by victimization and blackmail.

In the book “ Emotional Intelligence 2.0 ” by Jean Greaves, he explains to us that we are generally not fully aware of the impact of this type of connection on our emotional balance and on our health. We invite you to discover some of these effects.

The emotional impact of people who sabotage our calm

We could say that the term “burn” here takes on an almost real meaning. People who exhaust us often use us as “emotional containers”, in which to pour their thoughts, their fears and their dark ideas, to the point of slowly wearing out this so intimate and powerful architecture formed by our brain.

• People who burn out put a lot of stress on us. When this negative emotion becomes chronic, neuronal dendrites (the little arms that bind nerve cells together) break down due to this harmful and stressful over-excitement. The area where this alteration occurs is the hippocampus, where memory and emotions are located.

• The fact of feeling exhausted, of being “permeable” to this type of behavior, instead of turning off or tiring us, always keeps us alert.
  It is a clear and instinctive feeling of wanting to defend oneself from “something” or “someone”, to always live on the defensive but feeling trapped at the same time.

We are sure that in these types of situations, you have been told that you must “learn to set limits once and for all”. In reality, it is something much simpler than that.

You just need to be mindful of something essential: no one has the right to burn all your dreams of happiness, no one should bring you storms when you live in an ocean of calm.

No one should lead you adrift, where your inner demons are hiding.

Look for people who inspire you, who do not ignite the spark of your inner fires until they “burn” you.

I like people who inspire me

It is often said that when we are very young, we do not choose our friends or our first loves, we take what happens with passion, without filter, allowing ourselves to be carried away by a momentary blindness that will heal itself over the years.

Over time, we become much more selective, more skillful and less permeable to what is not useful, to what exhausts us, to what wants to rob us of something legitimate: our happiness.

Seeking or rather allowing ourselves to find people who inspire us is a vital need in which we should invest every day.

Who inspires us opens the windows of the soul and lights the beacon of our spirit to allow us to emerge from our nights of apathy, fear and loneliness. 

Having parents or siblings who inspire us, for example, is something that forges exceptional strengths to grow up in maturity and freedom.

Having friends who don’t wear us out, but who are inspirational figures to become better people, is undoubtedly a privilege we should never give up.

On the other hand, no love can be as strong and genuine as that which is built on the roots of respect and on the shining leaves of admiration and mutual inspiration.

Because to inspire someone, you don’t have to be perfect. In reality, it is enough for others to see how you overcome your own imperfections to always give the best of you at all times.

It is worth taking this into account.